dude i'm inner monologue high
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
