He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
