My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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