Fine. I'll sleep in my office
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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