I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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