I must be too annoying 4 u.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Randomize
