Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
you traded sex for a burrito?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
