I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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