he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
i think im in europe. pls send help
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
