dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
