i may or may not be watching the land before time
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize