If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'm like, not good at living.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
