of course. lets lasso hookers.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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