I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Randomize