??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
