jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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