Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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