she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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