Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
This is my gift to your gina
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
