she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Dicks are not precious.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
