also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
