We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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