absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
