I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
