he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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