Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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