Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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