we're blogging at a bar
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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