I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
