Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
