he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Randomize
