i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize