stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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