I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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