no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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