dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
