How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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