thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
