So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
