I showed him my bush... on skype.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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