i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
