I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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