SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
