The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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