How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
there was a trapeze. enough said
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
