I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
