roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
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He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
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Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
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