just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
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Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
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How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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