So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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