I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
