Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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