I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
