Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
