Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
