Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Randomize
