you turned your livingroom into a bong?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
