i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
