Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
