Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
