I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
