Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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