I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
