She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
